back home from home

This is really just a newsy-ish update. The Wise triumvirate has had a busy and distracted month. I had several big work trips and we also visited Joyce in Springfield and then went back to our former home in Alameda for a few weeks.I’ve only been home for a few days in the last month. When we landed on Sunday evening; I was relieved for a period of being home.

California was a blur, a tumble, and a whisper. We started off in an Air BNB with a great location but pretty grim accommodations. (And thank you, thank you, to all of the people who offered us their extra room or a couch. We wanted to have a place to retreat from visiting). We eventually moved to the amazing home of the Stoddards on the estuary with an incredible basement guest quarters. The water, the hospitality, and the clean shower lifted our spirits more than I expected.

The kids fell right back into the fray with their long time friends. Tucker was often free-range on the island with a roaming pack of boys, with the direction: “don’t cross a bridge.” They did a tennis camp, and then afternoons with screens (of course), basketball, bikes, and wandering on Park Street. Tessa had more organized adventures with her two best friends and also enjoyed the increased freedom of being an older kid on the island. We are so grateful to the families who made these incredible two weeks possible for the kids. (Thank you especially to the Herner-Browns, The Langs-Hazeltons, the Vegases, and the Stoddards!)

I had plans for all of the people I wanted to see, most of whom I hand’t connected with since B’s diagnosis. But then, I found, it was all too much. There were so many feelings, observations, craters and peaks that were whizzing through me each day. I went to a few group outings that were organized in advance - (For those people I saw: You are incredible. I adore you and am so grateful for the time with you) - but outside of these pre-scheduled times, I found that I enjoyed being alone, or on the familiar couches of our neighbors on Garfield Avenue. Instead of returning the texts and emails in my inbox, with the neighbors, we selected a series to watch together, and lapsed into familiar camaraderie that was a comfort and an escape. For those of you I did not see, please be gentle with me for missing you and I hope to see you on the next visit.

I have so many observations about life and love and marriage and parenting; about death and the human condition. I look forward to taking some time to unwind these in my journal and will share some on AndPostscript as seems fit. I do sometimes worry about being too morose, and I find that conversations with others are not always, but more likely than before, to descend to the deeper meaning of it all. I love that some of you like to go there, and am fine with those of you who don’t. It’s the plain where I often rest, but not the only place I need to be. I am also extremely interested in everyday musings and catching-ups and even some occasional silliness.

Many of you have wondered if we are planning to move back to California, so I wanted to address it directly. We are not making any changes in our life right now and don’t foresee any in the future. The kids are settled with amazing friends and schools here in Lexington. Our home is comforting and familiar, bursting with memories that are both warm and tragic, both important. The beauty of this area is breathtaking, especially the greenery and the quality of life day to day. I love and admire the people I am still getting to know here and so, I guess the East Coast in general, and Lexington in particular, is stuck with the Wises.

The kids are off to sleep away camp tomorrow and I’m looking forward to some quiet evenings, some visiting with friends, and a chance to clean the office. Peace and good wishes to all of you.