encore

During B’s illness we had tickets to three shows that we never went to. In each instance, our best laid plans were lost to changes to schedule with treatment or B’s health. Eventually we largely stopped making plans altogether and would do what we could with each day. At times plans would need to change by the hour. Finding joy with this uncertainty requires being in the moment.

“Being present” is also an industry, where classes, disciplines, books, and tea are all there to help us find a state of being present that cancer ironically offers up on a platter. This ancillary gift of presentness was not just for those closest to cancer’s clutches — I don’t know how many times people told me that hearing about or visiting with B made them remember to seize the moment and hug those they love.

One of my favorite singers had just a few shows in the US before going on tour in Australia, and one was going to be in Boston. It was a strange thing to do, but I bought myself a ticket. It turns out that it is much easier to get a great last minute seats to a show when you go solo.

Going to see music alone made me feel like I could make plans again. And there is the comfort of privacy in a crowd where no one felt compelled to chat or knew of our story.

The performance (Damien Rice) was amazing. He’s an Irish singer-song writer and most of his pieces were wrenched with pain and longing. The stage around him was black with small spotlights and light smoke, with occasional lightning bursts for emphasis. The effect eliminated any competing focus, leaving us with eye and ear just on music and emotion.

After the concert, the crowd did what it is supposed to do. We stomped and cheered until Damien came back out for the encore, which included three more songs. I was struck by what a reliable and beautiful tradition this is. After sitting for hours doing nothing else but be present with an artist and their craft, we were a group of thousands chanting together for more. Per the encore ritual, the stomping and cheers eventually brought the artist back out to perform the best songs of the night.

Encore. What a great idea. Why doesn’t this work in all settings? B, we would like an encore.