winter path

We could all write about time. It’s poignant, specific, ephemeral, kind, and damning all at once.

Two weekends ago we were gathered to remember B and two weeks before we said goodbye. Two weeks before that B was ailing terribly but still mentally present and my partner in life.

We have de-medicalized our home and the space looks like it did before cancer assaulted us. If you were to come to our house, you could breeze past the mail and head into the kitchen. You might see a few half completed art projects and a dish left hastily on the counter. The dogs would over-greet you and we would sheepishly pull them away and offer to take your coat. At first sight, it would be easy to forget the large absence. This is good. After an extended period of crisis, we are all ready to look forward again. Routine is welcome, daily tasks a privilege of normal.

We are each mourning in our own way; grief can be a slow dull thud or sudden and piercing. Many of you know grief all too well. For now, we also welcome re-establishing where the backpack should really go, could you please clean up your socks, and yes we are really eating dinner in the dining room again.

Callie and I had been missing our visits to Willard’s Woods, where we walked daily early in B’s cancer journey. Today we did a double round on the loop trail.

I just realized today that my friends had already sent me photos and video from B’s service. I recognize that there are people who were not able to join us who are eager to see them; thank you for your patience! I am pulling them together and will post a Services page soon on Bs memorial website.

Wishing you a quiet breath and walk in fresh air.